I just finished listening to Briefly Perfectly Human by Alua Arthur on Libby. The memoir was read by the author.

In this memoir about a death doula, the author tells us about her life journey that led her to the point of working with the dying. It goes without saying that getting to a vocation that involves one to spend time with people close to their deaths, to comfort them, to ease their way out from their lives, to manage the emotions and expectations of the loved ones surrounding the dying, cannot be straightforward.

This book is the story of just such a difficult journey. Of a life that leads itself bit by bit, event by event, to support death.

We get a view of the various clients the author has supported on their way to their deaths- their personalities, their situations, their family dynamics, their emotional needs- and no two of them are the same. Because they are humans, and we come in the most diverse colours and shapes than is imaginable.

The growth of the author towards this vocation for herself starts from her childhood with her parents being missionaries and living the life of serving. This is what her values are, even though she does not take to their faith and religious beliefs. Becoming a lawyer, and hating that job to the extent of becoming miserably and devastatingly depressed from that, she slowly finds her way to people who are dying. 

She finds her path towards easing their journeys. 

She finds a path towards becoming a person she can peacefully live with and offer her service in a meaningful way to those in pain.

The book is emotional. What is beautiful is that it is clearly heard in the author’s voice. 

It was not an easy journey that she is describing to us. And I cannot imagine it was an easy book to write. 

Her authenticity, her vulnerability, her expression, her humanity in owning her difficult life and its twists and turns could not have been easy for her to lay out for us, the readers. 

But she’s taken this difficult path and done it beautifully- the language is rich, but easy. Her story drew me in right away, and I wanted to follow along her life the whole book though. I felt like I was listening to a friend telling me something that took her a lot of courage to open about and put it in front of me.

Yes, it’s a courageous book for the author to write. But also a deeply insightful book for me the reader. Death doula is not a profession I have known much about. Or the emotional and physical toll it can take. Or the details that are involved in such a work. It takes a certain kind of personality to take on this role of service, of emotional burden. 

I, the reader, feel gratitude towards the author for bringing this side of humanity to me. To enlighten me of the work it takes to help people move on from this world. Of the inner journey it takes to become a death doula.

But eventually it is a book of hope, and living with joy. Because, only in the face of death do we truly cherish our lives, and the gift that it is.