Earlier this week, an email newsletter from the famous Personal Finance expert who talks a lot about simple living, Mr. Money Mustache, caught my attention. This newsletter was about cheapness vs. frugality. Something to think about and knowing where one’s lines are drawn, right? 

He says “being frugal just means displaying some skill and good judgement in the way you spend your money- and thus it is a mark for status far greater than conspicuous consumption.”

This of course made me think:

Am I being frugal in all the little ways that I think of saving money, and stopping a moment before thinking whether the stuff I want to get will add to my life in the long term, or bring me unbridled joy?

Or am I just being cheap?

Mr. Money Mustache says that the difference between being frugal and being cheap lies is the mind. What I think he means is that it’s a matter of perspective. When I buy tomatoes from the reduced rack because they look ok for what I need to use them for, me being frugal can easily strike a person with a different perspective and mindset as being cheap: why get bruised tomatoes, even for cooking them right away, when you can get perfectly nice tomatoes? Or why be cheap and worry about getting a $20 gadget for the kitchen even though it has a very superficial use- it will be fun to try it, and it’s only $20? 

On the other hand, I may wear tattered t-shirts to the gym, but I am not going to show up in these while going out to a restaurant, or to visit a friend. I won’t be wearing snow boots with holes in their soles because then they stop doing their job of keeping me warm and dry. I won’t be picking up left-overs from a neighbouring table in a restaurant (to use one of Mr. Money Mustache’s example). 

I draw the line there between being frugal and being cheap. Because in my mind that crosses the limit of what I feel comfortable for my dignity in this life.

The line could be drawn the other direction too.

What is the difference between a sensible spender vs an overspender?

Do we need the biggest TV, or the entire line of copper pots and pans from William Sonoma just so the kitchen looks perfect? Do we need to buy a fancy car with a big ticket price, or a mid-range one will do? Do we need to get luxury brand clothing and accessories to survive in our society? Can good quality clothing do which don’t have the stamp of a luxury brand?

Yes, there could be more lines- between frugal spender, and a non frugal spender who doesn’t overspend on luxury items but still doesn’t think of simple ways of saving, for example. 

The zone we pick to stand in and navigate life from should be what makes us comfortable. And ultimately helps us move towards our financial and moral goals in life. But also be intentional, and be aware. 

And this awareness extends to the feelings of those around us. Is our being too frugal making our family members cringe? Is our overspending making our friends uncomfortable around us, or hurting our family’s finances?

So much to consider and think about. But that is where intentionality and comfort factor come into play. After a number of experiments in all different directions we can find our zone. And mostly it will lie in the middle ground of some frugality, and some splurging. Extremes of cheapness and overspending will never serve in the long term by virtue of them being extremes. 

In this season of my life, when I am not in the dating circle, not trying to impress people around me, and am getting to know myself and my comfort levels and tastes deeper, I feel good in my zone of some frugality, and some splurging. It brings me joy to be creative about saving money, and buying things of good quality so they last me a while and make me happy. I have no need or desire to buy all the time. I feel the need for putting my focus on making my life count for a little more than just accumulating things to surround myself with.

That is my comfort zone. What is yours?