Writing this on Wednesday morning…today was my first morning Mysore Yoga class in a while. My alarm was set for 4:45 and that was the part I was most dreading.

I woke up and thought, oh its the middle of the night and I am so glad I have a few more hours of sleep to go…and just then, my alarm clock went off! My brain was in complete denial for a couple of minutes, and getting out of bed did not seem like an option I wanted to take…

Anyways, I was keen on making it to my class, and so leaving the bed had to be done.

Once at the yoga class, my body was actually feeling strong. Most mornings when I get there, I am still sleepy, and my body sore. So the yoga class feels hard. But not having been to the gym in 10 days or done any power yoga (only stretching happened on vacation), I guess I was fresh and ready! I loved this feeling of lightness, and accessibility in my body. The class went by quickly without me feeling like I have rocks attached to me. 

I could live in a light body like that. And I am dreading when the heavy feeling comes back. So how do I make sure I don’t feel like that again? I am not willing to give up weight training. I know how important it is for a woman hurtling towards menopause in the next few years. And I love the feeling of intense focus it takes to lift heavy. The whole world goes quiet, and all that matters is lifting cleanly and connecting to the muscles. 

So in that case, I think I need to back off a little bit. I need to give space for my body to tell me what it needs, or doesn’t need on the day.

I don’t want to hold myself to rules I made one fine day, and then apply it for months even though it doesn’t work for that week. I want to be more in tune with my body.

And being in tune with my body doesn’t give me an out from skipping yoga or weight training whenever “I am not in the mood”, but rather to not push it when everything is tight, and my eyes would rather get another hour of staying shut. 

I know recovery is the most important part of working out- that is the time when growth happens. And I want to actually acknowledge this knowledge with my actions. 

I have done yoga classes with a feeling of lethargy and sleepiness the whole time, and then actually caught a micro nap during the corpse pose. Today was not that day. Today I felt light both in my body and in my eyes. Even though my brain balked when the alarm clock went off, I have to be thankful that I was completely awake a couple of minutes before that happened. So maybe my inner clock knew the time. And my body was ready.

I want to bottle this feeling that I did my yoga class with- with strength, with ease of going deeper into my body, with wakefulness. And keep using this every single morning. And maybe taking a step back is the way to do it.